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Politely insulting

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Winston Churchill made insulting an art and part of a politician repertoire. When an aristocratic woman exclaimed in horror, “Sir you are drunk!” “Yes,” he said “Drunk I am sober tomorrow, but you my dear will always be ugly”.

Of his Labour adversary Clement Attlee he once claimed, “His laughs come from closer to his feet” or “he is a sheep disguised as a sheep”. England will never change and it is now offensive to call a short man a dwarf. He is “a little person”. So author of Snow White and her seven dwarf friends could end up in a Court House and so would Churchill for referring to Ghandi as “the half-naked fakir”. Pity the old man is not around to see his English lions quit the Cricket World Cup with their tails between their legs!

With the General Election drawing nigh the major parties are involved in a screaming match across the divide in the House of Commons. The Oxbridge types are “politely” insulting each other!

Paradox? Maybe. No swearing involved but insults anyway.

This is a debate about a debate and the punches are getting lower and lower probably shocking the people who tune in to listen. Ed Milliband promised his supporters he would take David Cameron to the “cleaners” in a head to head debate. Cameron had five years ago faced up to a stuttering Gordon Brown and the eloquent Nick Clegg.

Clegg made good listening and Cameron pummelled Brown to a standstill. He was smiling gleefully and Brown looked defeated bowled by two “Malinga yorkers”. Cameron was so confident that he said then that debates were good for the General public to understand the “nitty gritty” of politics.

 This time around he refused the tète a tète and wanted Natalie Bennet the Green Party included. UKIP who are picking voters from both camps and surging to be “king makers” were also invited.

The broadcasters BBC had it all set up to have the clash of the mini titans and Cameron like “they” always do, changed the goal posts and said not to a vis a vis claiming that it would be an all-party debate of the seven heads of little people because ‘the man with camel’s nostrils’ is a mean adversary… read bugger. Now like all English fairy tales some witches are not invited they fly around raving mad. How could they? This is the Loyalists’ Party in Northern Ireland.

It is evident that Milliband has done his sums and his homework and he has to show that he can do better than Cameron who is flirting with the elderly promising to give them tax free pensions and has graphs and figures claiming that unemployment is down from 2008 and the Banks Crash and Financial Crisis. He has cut down of the police and armed forces, saved money closing Libraries and Care Homes. He has shrunk the deficit and says the sun shines on England.

Milliband on the other hand is “making eyes” at the 18 – 24 year olds some who have not voted before. Promising to lower University fees by £3000. This is unreal. No student has to reimburse their loans unless and until the make £25,000 and for that only the” golden boys” in banks make that money speculating.

Two channels the infamous Channel 4 and Sky hope to televise the Cameron Miliband debate and I wonder if they will be allowed in wearing shoes.
I saw Mervyn Silva struggle to take his sandals off to throw at a late Tamil MP watched in the Sri Lankan Parliament then abuse the man in obscene language. One MP even struck another in the face over an insult to his mother. But there were interesting debates with “Weejaymu” Lokubandara the master of a wise crack that had Parliament in stitches.

The perfect gentleman!

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