Maithripala’s conspiracy theory
Addressing a press briefing, Maithri revealed a sinister plan to destroy his political career. He said his son, Daham, was not involved in the assault. Media, he said, unnecessarily highlighted his son’s involvement in the incident and thereby tarnished his image.
Pooh-poohing the reports about my-father-is-the-next-prime-minister-of-the-country remark, he stated that although he was offered the prime minister position of the country by Chandrika Kumaratunga, he declined that paving the way for Mahinda Rajapaksa to become the prime minister.
He also alluded to a conspiracy to harm his life. “I know who attacked me,” an angry Maithri charged.
Then, who attacked the DIG’s son?
Just like the certain Army Major who assaulted himself, the DIG’s son too, must have attacked himself due to some irritation on his posterior.
Nalin, the WHO and Arsenic
When Nalin De Silva claimed ‘there’s arsenic’ in chemical inputs to agriculture which in turn caused chronic kidney disease at alarming rates in the Dry Zone, no one believed him. Now the World Health Organization has endorsed his position. There is no lack of takers. Nalin can legitimately ask ‘api kaluda’ (are we black?). Perhaps that IS the fact of the matter.
Halal: Nobody’s Child
Halal has finally become no one’s baby with the government refusing to take the responsibility to issue Halal certificates on the grounds that it does not have a mandate to certify commodities based on religious parameters. Now, the ACJU does not want to proceed with Halal certification as they have already come under harsh criticism from various elements. Therefore, it requested the government to take over the halal certification and certify commodities that are suitable for Muslims.
Now there is a question as to who should be entrusted with the task of issuing Halal certificates. ACJU anyway is not in a position to proceed with this as they are already under scrutiny. The government, on the other hand, is trying to distance itself from the Halal hoopla. On the other hand, anti-Halal campaigners allege that the ACJU cannot just get away with the issue by handing everything over to the government. “What about the money they collected so far, illegally, from businessmen?” they ask.
Whether we like it or not, there remains only one body capable of handling the halal certification: ‘Bodu Bala Sena’!
Navi Pillay’s myopia
The Grandmother of Human Rights seems to be suffering from impaired vision. She has singled out Sri Lanka and Iraq on the matter of human rights violations. No one knows if it is old age, position-greed (which makes her dance to certain tunes) or astute understanding of the need to have deft footwork so she does not step on certain toes. What is clear is that she has not seen or pretends not to have seen the handiwork of countries such as the USA, UK and Isreal.
PM hopefuls irked?
Maithripala claims his son didn’t make prime ministerial comments during the altercation with Daham Widyalankara. But that’s how it was (mis)reported. Now it has come to light that this turn of events (and the mis-reportage) has caused much consternation among prime minister hopefuls. Perhaps this is why, responding to a typically caustic remark by ex President Chandrika Kumaratunga, Mervyn (Dr) Silva had said that he is the most suitable candidate for the post. As for the other hopefuls, they may have heaved sighs of relief upon hearing that Maithripala’s son didn’t talk about his father or of being a future premier’s son when he punched Daham….sorry, when he ‘saw’ Daham punching himself.
CBK’s Dream Cabinet
CBK has embarked upon a new journey to form a national government comprising “decent politicians” from all parties. Therefore decent politicians of all political parties should now take note! During the event to mark the 25th death anniversary of her husband Vijeya Kumaratunga, CBK fired salvos at the present-day politicians alleging they are crooks and law breakers (CBK, needless to say, did not accommodate any law breaker during her tenure).
Mahasona for a moment thought of some decent politicians who might fit into CBK’s decent national government. Since it is a national government, there should be representation from both sides, right?
Ranil W, obviously, will have to play a key role in this government as he is the father of all decent politicians in this country.
Then there is another decent politician in the UNP, who can be instrumental in forming the national government. This one, on the other hand, is no stranger to CBK. He is Mangala Pinsiri Samaraweera, who was CBK’s right hand man at one point.
From the government side, who might cross over to CBK’s camp to form this national government made of ‘decent politicians’? SB, obviously, might want to join her as he has a lot of fond memories of CBK. Also, if she cannot think of someone to offer the Kelaniya electorate, there is a very eligible candidate waiting for an offer of that nature.
Considering the present state of affairs, it is crystal clear that Maithri too is having no second thoughts about joining CBK’s decent national government!
‘6%’ signs to make comeback
A few months ago there were many people on Facebook who uploaded as ‘Profile Pic’ the 6%-sign associated with the Federation of University Teachers’ Associations (FUTA). When FUTA struck a deal regarding salaries, the demand for a bigger slice of budgetary allocation for education went out of the window. Indeed, those Facebook profile pictures were also discarded unceremoniously. Now FUTA is reported to be sharpening weapons for another 6%-battle. Maybe the most appropriate profile pic for FUTA groupies is a caricature of Oliver Twist in don’s garb.