A Very Important Guide to the Hot Daddies of ‘The Golden Bachelorette’

Gather ‘round. Let’s have our yearly discussion about the beautifully tragic franchise known as The (Golden) Bachelor(ette) (in Paradise).

This week, the new cast for The Golden Bachelorette was revealed, featuring 24 men vying for the heart of 61-year-old Joan Vassos. If you’re asking, “Is The Bachelor on?” the answer is, “Yes, you fool. People love a train wreck.” And The Golden Bachelor-arm of the franchise is even better than the original because it still gives us a possible happy ending with adorable, albeit hot, old people, while subverting the expectation that grandpas are somehow more chaste or moral than 20-something hard bodies.

After the long-running dating franchise seemingly reinvented itself last year with a new venture by the name of The Golden Bachelor, featuring an impossibly lovely 72-year-old man by the name of Gerry Turner, the newest iteration did what every good season of The Bachelor does: implodes.

Read more at The Daily Beast.