‘Couple to Throuple’ Wildly Failed the Polyamory Community. We’re Not Shocked.

Going into the finale of Peacock’s newest dating show, Couple to Throuple, I was “gagged and gooped and gagged,” as Ash, one half of one of the participating couples, says in Episode 4. Ash means this as a positive thing. I am not sure how I mean it, because, while I must admit that the show has been incredible television, I can’t say that it has been a particularly good representation of polyamory or non-traditional relationship structures.

Now, look—I’m not under the delusion that all representation must be good. Straight, monogamous people have been messy as hell on reality dating shows for decades at this point. The Bachelor isn’t exactly a walking advertisement for “happily ever after.” Have you ever looked at the outcomes of the relationships from that franchise? Yikes.

At the same time, I can’t help but wonder, as Carrie Bradshaw may have on Sex and The City, is bad representation better than no representation? In trying to make predominantly queer culture legible to cishet audiences, are we doing more harm than good? (Questions about polyamory Carrie did actually ask were, “Has monogamy become too much to expect?” and, “Were threesomes the new sexual frontier?”—because I know you were wondering.) I fear that the answer is “no” to the former and “yes” to the latter, and that this portrayal of polyamory reinforces some of the worst stereotypes about the lifestyle and the people who participate in it.

Read more at The Daily Beast.