Delivery drivers are going to be working hard through extra hot conditions in several states this Prime Day.Photo: Justin Sullivan (Getty Images)
That’s right, it’s back. Like a great orca running headlong for your tiny vessel, Amazon is ready to slam you with proclamations of “deals, deals, deals.” The only thing Amazon seems to be priming today is my migraine, but that doesn’t mean the online retail giant has savings on all explicitly good products.
Not all these deals are cut from the same cloth. Just as in previous years, Amazon has some truly silly products it’s hoping to sell you on by shaving a few extra dollars off its asking price. As we’ve noted before, Prime Day is effectively a lie. Sites like camelcamelcamel track Amazon prices to show how often they go on sale. Take the 6.8-inch Kindle Paperwhite, on sale today for 36% off at $90. That’s not so different from normal promotions of the device. It regularly goes on sale for below $100, and it was similarly priced during Amazon’s secondary big sale late last year. So the take is: Don’t let FOMO force your buying hand.
This year, more than ever, Amazon is explicitly trying to angle customers toward its own Amazon brands like Amazon Basics. This includes a heaping helping of Amazon Brands clothing to really give you that “basic” look. Even when trawling away from Amazon’s own branded products, you’ll need to navigate through the company’s swathe of ads for sponsored products looking for that one brand of snail mucin serum that costs three dollars less than its usual price.
Oh, and let’s not forget the tens of thousands of Amazon workers who will inevitably be working close to 60 hours in overtime to fulfill customers’ orders. With yet another heat wave striking parts of the Southwest this week, beleaguered Amazon delivery drivers are going to be suffering even more than usual. Perhaps think about them while you trawl the retail site for deals on weird Lego builds and Star Wars characters with holes cut in their heads.
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Oh boy, you’re telling me I can save close to $20 on a buildable, minifig recreation from the hit TV show Friends’ local coffee shop Central Perk cafe? I have to say, I doubt the same fanbase that made the 1994 sitcom last 10 seasons (plus the 2021 reunion) are also the same kinds of folks interested in Lego sets.
I’m not one to knock your trash TV choices, but there are plenty of other, more interesting Lego sets you could go for, rather than what seems to be Lego trying to get rid of some of its less popular playsets.
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New York Sen. Chuck Schumer has asked the the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to investigate the Logan Paul-fronted Prime Energy Drink. The reason? The drink reportedly contains 200 mg of caffeine per can—the equivalent of six cans of Coca Cola or two and a half cans of Red Bull.
Oh, but Amazon hopes you’ll ignore all that, because this Prime Day you can get a 24 pack for 33% off. What a steal. Now with that much caffeine, you can smell colors and run on walls, if it doesn’t cause any outright physical distress. The drink itself contains a warning that those under the age of 18 should stay away. Still, critics are quick to point out the fruit-flavored drink is heavily advertised on TikTok using constantly controversial influencer Logan Paul.
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I’m a big heat guy, but I don’t think I could possibly get through five goddam pounds of cayenne pepper in an entire lifetime. Just a little bit will do for most sauces and rubs. Plus, there are other ways to get heat into a dish, and I can’t imagine the pain for any family forced to eat cayenne with every meal just because one of the parental figures thought they were getting a really good deal on several pounds of pepper.
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Amazon sells several Star Wars brand Echo Dot holders. They Include a rather odd-looking Mandalorian helmet and a Stormtrooper that looks like somebody was conducting 18th century brain surgery on the trooper’s scalp. But the oddest of the bunch is the Darth Vader helm that, with Dot installed, looks like Vader has a balloon growing out of his scalp. The installed Echo Dot makes the helm’s eyes glow blue, and they should adjust based on the ambient light, but it still looks odd considering Vader’s lenses never glowed in any of the movies.
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So you got a roach problem. Of course, you could pay somebody to come in and bomb your house, but you could also save three whole dollars on a 15 pack of roach traps. Thanks Amazon, you really know how to get my blood flowing.
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Save for electric unicycles, hoverboards have been one of the most prominent self-balancing devicing seen on the street. The zippy and dangerous devices caught the internet’s imagination back in the mid-2010s, though they’ve since dipped in popularity.
Also, according to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, many of those Jetson hoverboards were liable to catch on fire. The most dangerous products were sold between 2019 and 2021, and customers who still have one are liable for a full refund. You could try Hover-1 brand devices, but those too have seen recent recalls over software malfunctions. Perhaps if you’re willing to drop hundreds on mobility tech, you should go for a more stable platform.
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Microsoft 365 is already free through a web browser, which makes sense since it has to compete with Google for the office suite of apps. Then again, you could buy a family pack of 365 for $70 that comes with a neat little gift card for spending even more on Amazon. The main reason to actually buy the software is that it comes with 1 TB of cloud storage on OneDrive for each of the six accounts that can use it. But then again, there are a bevy of free alternatives and you can just simply buy OneDrive data for much cheaper.
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When we last reviewed the Logitech G Cloud, we found the device was good enough, but that it paled in comparison to other products like the Steam Deck which cost only a little bit more. Now the device is claiming it’s on sale for nearly $66.50 off. Is that a steal? Whelp, no it’s not. Camelcamelcamel data shows the device is usually priced at $330. That’s less than it’s asking price at release, but the new price is hardly a steal, especially considering the lowest price Steam Deck is sitting at around $360 with the current summer sale.
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With so many Prime deals going on, there’s bound to be a few mislabeled items. Well, if you’re searching in the musical instruments section, you might come across an interesting decal kit for a “mixer.” Now, I know you’re about to say that it’s for a stand mixer, not for music. Though I dare the first person who finds this to try and slap these decals on their equipment then break into some vintage Victorian-style jams.
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Sometimes, all you want out of a Nerf blaster is to feel like you’re holding a weapon from your favorite show or movie. That’s fine, though for most fans of The Mandalorian who are older than Nerf’s target demographic, the Amban Phase-Pulse Blaster is just another tie-in blaster that doesn’t match up. Not to mention, it’s a breech loading blaster that spring fires a single dart. Everything else is cheap plastic, from the end prongs to the clear plastic sight. It’s not great for cosplay, and at four feet long it’s not great for living room Nerf duels. At least The Book of Boba Fett EE-3 blaster is fed with a swappable four round drum mag.
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I’ve never really wanted to enter “Sage Mode” before, but now with G Fuel’s savings on a jar of Naruto: Shippuden brand dietary supplement, I guess I can. Warning, only some flavors are actually on sale. Want Blackberry Apple “Hype Sauce?” Too damn bad, pay the full price.
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